Here are ten things. Enjoy.

1. I spent Canada Day like a true American

That is, I spent most of the day shopping. It wasn’t my choice, but there you are. Eventually, all Americans end up at the mall and/or the liquor store.

2. I woke up alone and embarrassed…

I had jury duty earlier this year, and I’ve been meaning to write about it, because I found the experience disturbing. But I haven’t had the time or the energy, so I ended up having this dream instead, which I’m sure is my subconscious attempt to deal with it.

I dreamt that I had jury duty again, and was walking into the courthouse wearing a suit. And why was I wearing a suit (which is something that I would never do)? Because I had a shoulder holster and an automatic pistol under my jacket.

Needless to say, they wouldn’t let me into the courthouse with a weapon. But when I pointed out to the security guard that I had a concealed carry license, he said, “Oh, okay then” and led me directly to the courtroom. “You’ll just have to sit in here,” he said, pointing to a large clothes dryer at the end of the jury box.

That’s right—a clothes dryer.

I got in the dryer, and there were already two or three other people in there, all wearing suits with shoulder holsters and sitting on those fins that tumble your clothes. The washer had a lint screen you access from the top, and whenever the judge spoke, we had to stick our heads out of that little slot to hear him.

Yes, I actually dreamt this.

3. Decasing

I’ve been decasing all my DVDs: putting the disks in sleeves and throwing out the cases. (I’ve been scanning the paper inserts that tell you what the movie is about.) What once took up ten feet of shelf space now takes up about a tenth of that. It turns out that DVDs are mostly empty space. If you tug hard enough, you can pull out a metaphor for our day and age here.

4. This song…

…has been stuck in my head all day.

It’s not a terrible song, actually. But after hearing it all day, I do feel the need to drink more on this holiday weekend.

5. Put on your Sunday best, kids. We’re going to Sears!

For what it’s worth, this song works especially well if you’re going to Sears…

Greg’s guitar still has the price tag on. Shades of Minnie Pearl!

(I actually have a lot of things to say about the retail business in general and being a retail worker specifically. Sears, JC Penney, and Amazon all play a part. Stay tuned.)

6. The Interwikis are here!

I set up interwiki links on my wiki. I have no idea why this amuses me so much, but it does.

7. TIL…

Today I learned that “aspirational clutter” is a thing. What a messed up world we live in. (On the other hand, I suppose that Britannia was the Roman Empire’s aspirational clutter, so this is definitely not a new thing.)

8. 80s Weekend…

Things are stressful right now. Hopefully I’ll be able to relax soon and I’ll spend the entire weekend eating tacos, drinking beer, and watching 80s movies. So far the list includes:

  • Krull
  • Pretty in Pink
  • Vacation
  • Sixteen Candles
  • Explorers
  • Stand By Me
  • Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
  • Flash Gordon
  • The Goonies
  • Robocop
  • Uncle Buck
  • Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
  • Nuns on the Run

The danger in planning an 80s movie weekend is that it turns into a John Hughes movie weekend. I think I’ve stuck a halfway decent balance. Feedback is welcome.

9. Things I Miss…

This list is entirely seasonal.

  • Camp fires on the beach
  • Cookouts on the beach
  • Parties on the beach
  • Hanging out on the beach
  • Sleeping on the beach.

I’m sensing a theme here.

Oh wait, nevermind…

10. KAAY

One of the greatest accomplishments of the twentieth centuries that will die soon (or has already died, depending on how you measure these things) is local radio. AM radio is largely dead; FM radio is mostly a festival of centralized corporate control. As a child, I spent many happy weekends (some on the beach) listening to AM radio, something I greatly miss. So I was delighted to find the KAAY archives.

KAAY was a radio station in Arkansas that aired Top 40 music by day and experimental, underground music at night. It later switched to a Christian music format, but hours of old reel-to-reel tapes were converted to mp3 and uploaded to archive.org.

I hope you have as much fun listening to that as I did.

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