I was really looking forward to the latest Star Trek movie, but it turned out to be just a tired retread of the last Star Trek movie: ugly Romulans (read: foreigners, illegal aliens, Arabs, people from India, Muslims, people with beards, Mexicans, Democrats, people with turbans, people with an accent, immigrants, people with dark hair {have you ever noticed that all the bad guys on Star Trek have dark hair?}, liberals, people who own convenience stores, Canadians, and people who don’t talk English real good—you know, the subtext of these movies is starting to sound paranoid, xenophobic, and just plain racist) get hold of a ship that can destroy a whole lotta buncha stuff, and can only be destroyed by people jumping. Yes, jumping.

 

Never mind, of course, that Pavel Chekhov didn’t show up until the second season, long after these events would have happened. Great Bird of the Galaxy, and angels and ministers of grace, defend us!

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